


Do Tiny Evans Like Trees, Too?

by thesaltydragon, UnfortunatelySux



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Cute, Fluff, M/M, Tiny Evan, and big evan, both!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-20 09:05:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13714449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesaltydragon/pseuds/thesaltydragon, https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnfortunatelySux/pseuds/UnfortunatelySux
Summary: Jared finds a tiny boy





	Do Tiny Evans Like Trees, Too?

**Author's Note:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Jared had experienced many things in his life. Lots of them unexpected and strange. But none quite as strange as what he had encountered over the weekend. He needed to talk to Evan, ASAP. 

Jared showed up at Evan’s house unannounced- not an entirely uncommon occurrence. He desperately banged on the front door, knowing Heidi was out working do the only one who could answer was Evan.

Evan had been sorting through his scholarship essay prompts when he heard the loud incessant knocking coming from the front door. Maybe his mother had ordered something online. He put his stack of papers to the side and stood up, sighing. Social interaction was a definite no, so he went just near enough to the door to comfortably wait until the postman left so he could get the package without having to talk to someone. When the knocking picked back up, he peeked around the corner just to see Jared through the window looking distressed. He quickly rushed and threw open the door. “Jared?”

Jared shoved his way into the house the second the door opened, quickly but carefully pushing Evan back inside, slamming the door behind them. “Evan! I have something amazing! And really _really_ weird!” He paused momentarily to lean up, pressing a quick kiss to Evan's lips. “Hi, by the way.”

Evan couldn’t hide the smile and subtle pink blush on his cheeks from being kissed by his boyfriend. He’d never get tired of it. “What are you talking about?” Whatever it was, it must have been incredibly important. 

Jared bounced back into his frenzied excitement instantly. He grabbed Evan's hand, dragging him to his bedroom. Once he closed the door, he turned back to his boyfriend. “Evan. I have something to show you. It's… really weird. But, also _fucking amazing_.”

“Is this another kink thing?”

Jared scoffed, pulling the bag off of his shoulder and setting it on Evan's bed. “No, you horndog! Damn, not everything has to be sexy, Evan.”

“Coming from you? I’d be surprised if it wasn’t.” Evan was mostly kidding. But he knew his boyfriend, and Jared had a full past of innuendos and near dirty talk. 

Jared rolled his eyes. “Unimportant right now. Back to business. Okay, now, Evan, you have to promise you won't freak out. I know it's weird, but… just bare with me, okay?” He bit his lip, carefully reaching his hand back over his shoulder and into the hood of his jacket. He pulled something out of it carefully, cupping his hands around it protectively. “Don't scare him, okay?”

Evan took a step back. “What is that? Is it poisonous? Did you bring another snake into my house?” The first snake had scared him. The second had nearly bit him. The third was just gross. “Please look me in the eyes and tell me it’s not a snake, Jared.”

Jared pouted. “Evan, they were cute! They were small and amazing, and– No! Off topic, it's not a snake.” A small noise came from the creature in Jared's hands. It was an odd squeaking sound, not one that could be identified easily as any specific creature. “Evan. Don't freak out. Okay?”

Evan was nearly one hundred percent sure Jared had brought some kind of alien to his house. “As long as it doesn’t bite me,” he mumbled. Did aliens bite? He wasn’t sure; he’d never met one. He took another step back for good measure. 

Jared just nodded. It probably wouldn't bite him. Probably. Jared took a deep breath, biting his lip in anticipation as he slowly lifted his hand, revealing a tiny, mildly disheveled looking creature. A creature that just so happened to look like a tiny person. Not only that, but a tiny person who just so happened to look exactly like _Evan_.

Evan wasn’t sure how long he’d stared at it—him?—and kept increasingly uncomfortable eye contact. He finally ripped his eyes away from Jared’s hands and back up at his boyfriend. “J-Jared, what the _hell_? That’s not _real_ , is it?” He already knew the answer, since he could see the tiny him breathing and blinking, terrified, but he wanted to act sane for as long as possible. 

The tiny Evan in his hands, in turn, also twisted around from where he was sitting in Jared's hand, giving the boy a bewildered look and squeaking in distress. Jared cooed at him, lifting his hand up to his head, allowing the tiny boy to crawl up to sit in his hair. Jared turned to Evan. “I have no explanation for you. I found him. And I love him. Our beautiful son.”

“What the _hell_?!” Evan squeaked, almost like the tiny squeaks coming from the other him. “That’s not– That is _not_ our son! Or yours! This is how the aliens take over! It’s getting into your head!” He might have been a little too avid of a closet science fiction fan. One too many X-Files marathons. 

“He's not! He's harmless! He's not an alien, he's a good boy!” Tiny Evan squeaked in affirmation, settling in Jared's hair happily. What Jared couldn't see, however, was the glare that he sent towards his larger counter part.

Half of Evan was glad to see Jared so happy and excited, but the other half was terrified of whatever this thing was. Like most times, his fear half outweighed his happy half. “It’s looking at me like it’s gonna eat my brain in my sleep!” He hated being the voice of reason. 

Jared pouted again. “ _He_ won't! I promise! Look,” he reached up, carefully extracting the tiny Evan, moving closer to big Evan and extending his hand out slightly. “Just give him a chance!”

Evan instinctively moved backward, hitting the wall. “If it’s not an alien, then what is it?” he demanded, not ready to take any chances yet. The little guy even had his faded old polo. It was creepy. 

Jared frowned as Evan recoiled. He shifted to cradle the tiny boy to his chest, hiding him slightly. He stepped closer, reaching up to place a hand on Evan's cheek. “Hey, Ev, look. He's not going to hurt you. I promise.”

Evan looked Jared in the eyes, worry in his own. “Are you sure?” Of course he was, he’d just promised. Evan was stalling. What the hell was going on?

Jared's eyes softened as he leaned up, lightly kissing Evan before pulling back again. “I'm positive.”

Evan should give it a chance, at least for his boyfriend. “Fine, let it eat my brain.” His tone suggested that was a joke, but he was still pretty afraid of that happening. No amount of Jared’s reassurance could ever completely destroy his fears. 

Jared grinned, pulling the tiny Evan up to eye level quickly. “Be good.” He kissed the top of his head affectionately before taking his boyfriend’s hand and holding it in place as he gingerly placing him down in the other boy's palm.

Evan’s hand was shaking, so Jared had to keep holding him still. “Jare, this is beyond weird,” he whispered, suddenly afraid of scaring the tiny boy with loud noises. It looked so much like him, but it couldn’t really _be_ him, right? 

Jared nodded idly, watching the tiny boy to see what he would do. Tiny Evan, once placed in the other boy's hand, blinked up at him, clambering to his feet. He looked up at big Evan curiously, trying to determine how he felt about him. It squeaked at him in question.

Before Evan could process a reasonable reaction, he squeaked back in mutual confusion. He watched the tiny version of himself blink back shock. It was still beyond weird, but somehow most of Evan’s fears disappeared when he held the squeaking boy. He’d had the same experience with a rabbit when he was seven. 

Tiny Evan squeaked at him again, this time in a more decisive tone. He lifted his arms up in a grabbing motion, indicating that he wanted to be lifted higher.

“Uh-” Evan raised his hand up. “H-Hi?” If it didn’t look like a mirror image of himself, he might think the little guy was cute. Jared sure seemed to. 

Tiny Evan hesitated, seeming to steel himself. Jared watched in confusion. Surely he wasn't about to do what he thought he was. And then, Tiny Evan leapt out of the hand he was standing on and directly onto Big Evan's shirt, clinging to it. Jared's eyes widened. “Evan, no!” He almost moved to grab him off of his boyfriend's shirt, but the tiny guy had already climbed up and onto Evan's shoulder. 

“I’m Evan!” Evan whined, breathing fast due to the fear of being attacked by the tiny boy almost coming true. He looked down at his shoulder, where Tiny Evan was sitting. It must have looked creepier from an objective view. He stuck his finger out for Tiny Evan to do whatever Tiny Evans did with Big Evans’ fingers. 

Tiny Evan squeaked in annoyance, pushing the finger away. He moved up Evan's shoulder to his neck, climbing over the collar of his shirt and settling himself to rest in the junction of Evan's neck and shoulder.

All Evan could do was keep still. He’d tried to play with the tiny boy, but was rejected. “What do I do, Jared?” he asked the resident Tiny Evan expert. 

Jared's eyes were shining as he watched them. “He's sleepy,” Jared informed. “He wants to sleep on you. He likes you!”

“That’s not unsettling at all,” Evan muttered. “How long have you even had him?” For some reason, he felt good that the tiny him liked him. Achievement unlocked. 

“Two days.” 

“And you’re just now telling me you found him?!” Evan’s voice raised an octave. 

Jared shrugged, “It's not exactly easy to tell your boyfriend that you found a tiny, squeaking version of him!”

Evan pinched the bridge of his nose. “What have you been feeding him? What does a tiny me eat? Tiny pizza? Tiny tacos?”

Jared rolled his eyes, giving Evan a pointed look. “Don't be ridiculous, Evan. He eats lettuce, like a snail. He's been working on one leaf for the past two days.”

“‘Don’t be ridiculous, Evan’,” Evan mumbled back, mockingly. “Yeah, _I’m_ ridiculous.” He thought about putting his finger back up for the tiny boy but decided against it, since it didn’t seem like he liked it earlier. “He eats leaves? What even is he? Can he talk? Does he even like trees?”

Jared snorted at Evan's last question. Of course he would ask that. “Yes, I don't know, Not as far as I can tell, and I don't know.”

Evan was offended. “You didn’t check if he liked trees? What kind of boyfriend are you?”

Jared scoffed. “I’ll show you what a good boyfriend I am,” he warned leaning up to meet Evan's lips in a searing kiss.

Evan obliged, kissing Jared back instantly. He kept his hand near his shoulder in case Tiny Evan wanted to escape, but for now, he seemed to be sleeping. 

Jared smiled into the kiss before nipping at Evan's bottom lip teasingly. If Jared had learned anything in his time of dating Evan; the boy likes love bites.

Evan adored it when Jared used his teeth. But now really wasn’t the time. He stifled a whimper and pulled back from his boyfriend. “Really? In front of the baby?”

Jared let out a triumphant yell, causing tiny Evan to jolt, climbing back out of Evan's shirt collar curiously. “So you admit he’s our son!”

Evan put a protective hand back up near the little guy on his shoulder. “No! I said baby! We’re babysitting him!” Since when was he okay with this? This was mega odd. He supposed the tiny version of him had some sort of calming effect. He was a lot cuter than normal sized Evan, after all. 

Small Evan, upon noticing the hand that was now within range of him, climbed up Evan's fingers, carefully crawling up the back of his hand to his arm. Jared watched him, eyes shining. “But, Acorn, look at him! I love him! Can we adopt him? Please?”

“He’s me! Isn’t that weird? You can’t adopt me.” Evan kept his arm still so he wouldn’t fall off. “Maybe he does like trees. He seems to like climbing.”

Jared hummed. “Probably. Oh! Wait a second!” Jared spun around, bounding over to Evan's bonsai shelf. He carefully picked one up, bringing it back over to the Evans. “I bet he would love to play on this!”

“Is it safe? He could fall.” Evan eyed the tiny tree in Jared’s hands. It wasn’t too big compared to the smaller Evan, but it was a pretty good sized bonsai. Heidi had gotten it for him. 

Jared nodded, placing the bonsai down on the bed. “Here, this way it’ll be fine even if he does fall.” Cushioning! It'll be like a tree fun house.

Evan pondered it. He looked at the tiny boy in question for any indication that he actually wanted to climb the tree. 

The small Evan squeaked at him, pointing to it excitedly.

“Fine,” Evan gave in. He brought his arm down to the bed so the smaller him could hop off and do his thing. 

He instantly clambered to the tree, scurrying up it happily. He climbed easily, all the way to the top until he was looking up at Jared and Evan through the top of the leaves. Jared cooed affectionately, turning back to his boyfriend. “Can we keep him? Please?”

“Well what else would we do, let him roam the wild and get hurt?” Evan sighed. “As long as you still love me more than tiny me, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Jared cheered, throwing his arms around Evan, pulling him into a hug. “Our beautiful boy!”


End file.
